YOUR WELL-BEING

MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES DO NOT DEFINE YOU

Tanvir Mann: “Not having contact with people started to affect my life, and my anxiety kicked in.”

By NEHA KARAMCHANDANI

The conversation around mental health during the COVID-19 pandemic is more important  than ever.

According to the CAMH website, the impact of COVID-19 on mental health has resulted in anxiety, binge drinking, loneliness and depression. It also states, “it is normal to feel anxious and afraid while we deal with the effects of this pandemic. We know this situation is stressful for everyone; people living with mental illness and addictions may be finding it especially difficult to cope”.

Twenty-three-year-old Tanvir Mann has been struggling with mental health since 2014 and has noticed it has gotten progressively worse for her during the pandemic.

“I went into a lot more anxiety and deeper depression just because you’re so uncertain with what is happening in the world. It can take a toll on you. There’s nothing you can do that you would normally do like going out or seeing somebody, all of that is taken away and you’re stuck inside your four walls.

“Dance used to be my outlet. I could dance at home, but it is not the same as dancing in a studio. You’re basically confined to your own space, your own energy, and your own thoughts. If you’re thoughts are not healthy and some of mine are not, it can push you toward therapy in quarantine,” said Mann, a graduate of Ryerson’s architecture program and a Brampton-based creative entrepreneur who works full-time as a receptionist at Good Life.

During the middle of the pandemic, Mann recalls having a vivid dream that made her feel more anxious than usual.

“The dream involved people I don’t speak to anymore. On a normal day, I could get up and go to work and not worry about the past anymore, but being confined to my four walls and not having contact with people started to affect my life, and my anxiety kicked in.

“It felt like everyone who was around me, I was losing them, too. Because I wasn’t feeling good, the energy I put toward my family wasn’t good. We were having fights. And then I started to think how I got to this point when I didn’t speak to anybody and no one spoke to me. Nothing happened, no incident happened. It was a dream. And then I realized that COVID-19 has a huge toll on me.”

She admits that the pandemic in some ways has also given her the time to process her trauma and ask for help. She is now enrolled in therapy to receive professional help for her mental health challenges.

“I think people are now starting to realize how important mental health actually is. Everybody is heading toward the direction of wellness because they are having conversations about it, and it’s all coming into a collective rising towards healing,” says Mann. “I just want everyone to know that your mental health struggles don’t define you and nor do they control you. It will take time, practise, and healing to believe that... It starts with believing that it’s possible and that you’re not your illness. Be open to different ways to work through this time. Be resilient and don’t ever give up on yourself. There is a healthier life waiting for you.”

Jessie Brar adds that the intensity of existing mental health issues has worsened because of the pandemic.

“All the issues that we are having today are the same as before but just exacerbated. Because there’s so much stress about COVID and living your day-to-day life, I think it just adds anxiety to our lives and it amplifies the situation that we were in before.

“There are more issues of isolation, people are living in situations that aren’t ideal for them, and students living away from home must move back home. This can be hard for many people.”

Providing space to create the “ideal situation” in South Asian households can be a struggle for some parents. 

“I think for a lot people there are issues with privacy and boundaries, especially in the South Asian community. For me, I work from home and finding those healthy boundaries with my parents can be hard... Mental health is affected by everything. If you’re under constant stress and someone keeps bothering you constantly (parents), it becomes a bigger deal. Also, self-care without boundaries can be extremely hard.

“If you don’t have those boundaries or they are not being respected, protecting your energy, protecting what is going on in your head can be hard. I think everyone is handling the pandemic differently. Understanding what the people around you need is important,” said Brar, a positive role model for many in the South Asian community.

She added that during this time communication with those around you is key.

“Figure out what you need. Everyone is different, having that open communication and dialogue can be challenging and stressful but the end result will definitely help. Reaching out for help and being patient with yourself is important.”

Resources such as the Montreal Children’s Hospital health information guide suggests that children learn most from what they see their parents do. If a child is overly focused on negative thoughts and outcomes, the parents need to help them think in a more optimistic way. Children (and adults) with existing mental health challenges like anxiety are likely to be feeling more anxious than usual.

SOME WAYS TO DEAL WITH IT

Pause. Breathe. Reflect.

Keep to a healthy routine.

Connect with others.

Be kind to yourself and others.

Reach out for help if you need it.